Monday, November 08, 2010

Bush Wrote a Book!

I've been sickened by Bush for years now, and here he is again to put me off food for weeks. First he admits to committing a war crime ("Damn right") when ordering waterboarding. Then he calls Scooter Libby a loyal American (outing CIA agents used to be called treason). And now he says, hey, Olmert wanted me to bomb Syria but I said no. Small favors.

So, I'd been thinking of ways to encourage people to deal with Bush's book, and today I stumbled on Bill's Cheers and Jeers, which hits the nail on the head.

A Brief Publisher's Message
Dear Reader,
Tomorrow, November 9, 2010, we are officially releasing former president George W. Bush's new book, Decision Points, and we would like to make the following request:
> Please do not take copies off the shelf, open them to a random page, insert a quantity of spit, nasal discharge or chewing gum, slam them shut and put them back on the shelf.
> Please do not draw horns on Mr. Bush's head---be they a ram's, a goat's or Satan's. Please also no forked tails or thought-bubbles that say "Heckuva Job."
> Please do not throw the book to the ground and stomp on it while yelling, "You suck!"
> Please do not knock over the bookcase on which Decision Points is displayed, as this could result in a domino effect on the other bookcases and cause damage and/or injury to other customers.
> Please do not attempt to move copies of the book from the Non-fiction section of the store to the Humor or Fantasy sections.
> Please do not whip out a Sharpie and add "Awesome book---if properly shredded" to the list of testimonial blurbs on the back cover.
We know you're upset at how badly he screwed you over, but please: let's be civil.
Thank you,
Your Friends at Crown Publishing
P.S. Democrats, this letter applies to you, too.

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